Apparently I’m not quite as ready to hang up the blog as I had thought. I doubt that I’ll be posting very often, and it’s likely that many posts will have little to do with knitting. Some will of course, but knitting is a slow process these days and I don’t get much done nor do I get anything done quickly.
Still, something in me seems to want to continue this digital diary, so I’ll just go with it for now :)
Most of you probably know that I have been dealing with a terminal cancer situation. Funny thing - most of the physical problems I have stem from side effects of the chemotherapy drugs I’ve been given rather than directly from the cancer. And there have been a lot of drugs. As we move down the list they become less effective and have more serious consequences.
During this time, my treatment has been managed by a very good oncologist. He has been sharp and has organized things ably and quickly when necessary. He has listened to me - up to and including taking my observations about my condition and research into its treatment into consideration. He is, in addition to being a good oncologist, a good man.
Yesterday I was informed that my doctor has taken a position in another hospital and will be leaving at the end of September. I have the option of transferring my treatment to the other hospital or being assigned to another doctor at the one where I’ve been getting my treatment for the last nine years.
Initially I was pretty upset. It is hard for me to be comfortable with doctors and I felt some resentment that now I would have to deal with a new one. I could, of course, transfer to the other hospital but it hasn’t had the best of reputations in the past and is not in an area I’m comfortable traveling to. In addition, I’m familiar and comfortable with the hospital and staff I’ve been seeing all along. Do I want to pull all that up, as though I were transplanting tomatoes, and go elsewhere - where the doctor would be familiar but everything else would be up in the air?
Finally I realized that this cannot have been an easy decision for my oncologist. Whatever his reasons are, perhaps it is time for him to move on. I have had his care for the better part of a decade and am deeply grateful for it. Maybe it’s a good things that others will get to experience his kindness and expertise. And maybe there are things I can learn from a new oncologist. So I think I have decided to stay where I am. I could change my mind, though I don’t think it likely, and will wish my old oncologist the very best as I try to meet my new oncologist with an open mind and heart.
I do, however, want to give him something a little more personal than a hearty handshake before he leaves so I started an Open Cable Scarf this afternoon.
I was a little nervous about managing the cables because my hands and fingers are about half numb due to neuropathy. I have become very clumsy :) To my surprise and pleasure, things didn’t go badly at all and I was able to make good progress. I’m using Paton’s Classic Merino (which has been discontinued, I understand) and it’s nice and soft. If I can keep up the pace I managed today, I should be able to finish this in a week. It doesn’t seem like much, but I hope he will enjoy it.
Jade is pouting in the hall because Myria has been busy and I have had either a keyboard or my knitting in my lap all day.
She’ll live :)
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WELCOME BACK!!!!
Sorry for shouting. I’ve been missing you and thinking about you as Mom is struggling through her treatments.
I wanted to write. I really did. But I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to and I have been really overwhelmed with Mom’s issues. So, being positive was kind of difficult.
So glad to see you! 
I almost couldn’t believe it when you showed up on Bloglines today, Robbyn. But it’s good to see you back with with and grace.
I was actually thinking about you recently, as I used the Glacial Gautlets of the Wolf to teach myself gussets, and laughed at the WoW reference.
It’s good to see you here again, my friend. You have been missed!!
I’m happy to see that, even though it may not be the easiest to do now, you are still knitting. As for your treatment, I’m certain that which ever doctor takes over from your oncologist, the treatment you receive will be good.
Hugggggggggggs!! Good to see you!
Hey Kathleen :)
I’ve thought of you and your mom often over the last few months. PLease feel free to write any time you’d like!
Coleen -
I hope your gussets came out well - as I’m sure you saw, there’s nothing to them :) One of my slow-moving projects at the moment is another pair of Dana Victoria mitts for Myria. She’s worn the originals to a frazzle. You know, speaking of gussets…
Hi Ev :)
Thanks for your good wishes. I’m trying not to anticipate so I guess we’ll have to see how things work out.I’m still kinda bummed about all this but I do believe things happen for a reason so I suppose I just have to try to figure out what the reason is.
I just finished my second pair of the Glacial Gauntlets too. Dark Plum with Lilac beads. I love this pattern and point people to it all the time!
Mom’s been having some struggles, but we’re plodding along. I’ll send you a catch-up e-mail at some point, when I don’t sound whiny! Today, she has a retest on the mammogram to be sure she’s ready for radiation therapy.
HIIIIIIIII! And YAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY! And HUGS!!!! And SMOOOOOOOCHES!!!!
Feel welcomed back?
Scarf is boo’ful, by the way…
Ryan -
I do indeed feel welcomed :) Thanks and hugs right back atcha!
Good to read your post - welcome back! Don’t put yourself under pressure, blog when you can/want, you’re always welcome here.
i am so glad to see you back. i’ve been thinking about you lately as i am doing my second simple simon baby blanket for my second grandchild due in january. it’s my favorite baby blanket and i thank you for sharing the pattern.
blessings to you as you continue your journey with a new oncologist. 
Lynne -
It’s funny, but when I stopped blogging, I thought it would be a relief. But it turned out that I missed it :)
More, I missed the people and the contact. It’s nice to be back!
Hi Susan :)
You know, I’d forgotten all about that blanket but I’m very happy to hear that you enjoy it. I really should write that pattern up into a more standard presentation.
Thanks for the motivation!
Oh Robbyn, welcome back! I am so glad you posted on here again. I wish I could do something to help. Maybe you can keep in touch with your old oncologist and ask his advice if you are unsure about something with the new one. I am sure that after treating you for so long he will be happy to help you. The blanket is a wonderful idea and it looks great.
A big hug from Italy.
Laura
Hi Laura :)
Thanks for your kind welcome back. I probably won’t be posting a lot - but I will be posting from time to time. Writing about it seems to be good for my knitting!
oh, three cheers and hip, hip, hooray!! talk about missing someone desperately-
i too wanted to write but thought you might need ‘alone time’- glad to see you are still your wonderful lovely self-
too bad about your oncologist- i’m sure you will have the opportunity to stay in contact though and agree with the suggestion made by laura that you might get a consult when you feel any question about new treatment- (umm, i do *so* wish dear wingnut would move)-
once again it is just indescribably good to see you back- i don’t subscribe to bloglines, but i have steadily checked in with your site in hopes of seeing you around and i am just blown away now-
large hugs from texas!!
Barb!!
Well, go ahead and fluster me, whydontcha :)
Thanks for the very sweet greetings. As I said, I don’t know how often I’ll be posting - but I feel that I do wish to continue this thing somehow.
And, as I’ve said to others, please write if and when you feel like it. I’d love to hear what’s going on down Texas way :)
I’ve begun reading a food blog called Homesick Texan and she posts the most interesting recipies!
